yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
There r osticjed everywhere
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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