Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
