oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
