But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
