ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
