Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
