Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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