I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
