fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
it's great music for shaving your balls
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
