the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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