i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
