no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
