Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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