I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
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