i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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