butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
