I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
