So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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