we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
This is my gift to your gina
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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