i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
