ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
