Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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