This is not my ceiling
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
