You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
