Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
