she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
