"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
