why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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