dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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