Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
why is half of my head shaved?
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