very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
