You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
