Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
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