I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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