I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Enjoy the penises
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
