I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Randomize
