the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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