Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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