I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Dignity is for republicans.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
