I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
