my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
