Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
