theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
