epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Someone stole a lamp last night.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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