We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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