yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
