Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
