My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
