my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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