I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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