Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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